I read through my post of the last year. I can't believe what I am seeing. As of now, even with five weeks notice (more if you consider the guidance received with out understanding), I am still screaming for more time..I'm not ready. Yet after reading these posts it is clear to me that ...the need to get my life in order was no fluke, no common prompting, nor some fleeting thought. It was a serious en treatment to be obedient so that... well, I would be prepared. I did work at getting things in order. However, there is still so much more to do. I did throw away, sort, discard, give away and trash so very much. Only there is more. I whittled down my body, still in progress, I improved our nutrition, addressed habits, began to eliminate the distractions in my life, and so much more. It feels like I have done little in comparison of what still needs addressed.  Then comes the soft considerate voice..."take the Holy Spirit as your guide and all will be well". So panic is becoming replaced with peace, fear with faith, and the scripture "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me", is the ever repeating motto.
I was considered and chosen, I was asked/called, I accepted, and then the miracle...Heaven gave me time to chose, to really make it my choice to do. Not out of obligation or responsible membership, but my will, my choice. And then He showed me the preparation of the heart that has been taking place for so many years. That feeling of being ancient and wise beyond any description return for a moment.(I felt that ancient and wise after my son Seth passed away).
I hope that each of you have the experiences I have had with the spirit, the teaching, the testifying, the reviewing of ones life and the validating of the worth of a soul...mine. (which also translates to you!) I am feeling the love of God and my Savior and as this process has unfolded, I am growing stronger.

 I will not doubt, I will not fear;
God’s love and strength are always near.
His promised gift helps me to find
An inner strength and peace of mind.
I give the Father willingly
My trust, my prayers, humility.
His Spirit guides; his love assures
That fear departs when faith endures.

May heaven smile on you today. Hugs, Lisa

P.S. My last post is most telling. Self-Care has become a must. Rhythms and routines more needed and yet I find myself slipping into old habits and feelings. It is a good thing to be kind and loving to yourself. No berating self, create a habit of positive loving thoughts. I read this morning that the best gifts you can give to someone else are Compliments, Praise, and encouragement. I think that is true! And while you are at it make sure you do it for yourself as well. It will become genuine.

 

Yep. It's gonna be different

Several years ago my family was climbing out of our van in the church parking lot as the Anderson family, who were the same size in number but younger in ages, were climbing out of theirs. Mr. Anderson said..."Good morning Sister Savage. Tell me this gets easier." I simply returned, sorry it doesn't get easier, just different.
I have been seeing lately the truth of this statement in several life experiences.
Eating.
Exercise.
Serving.
Finances
Decisions.
Responsibility.
But one thing I do know. Each day is a gift. I intend to be more grateful, To be a better wife, to be more obedient, and to be more loving and less needy.
I am still working out the details for my coming goals. Two thousand and twelve may not be easier...in fact I will count on it being...well different. And while I may make plans...I will adjust as necessary. Enjoy the moment it will change. ~HUGS~

I can hardly believe it has been four weeks since my last post. I am so grateful for all of the support.
I am thankful for family.
I am thankful for children...they are a great blessing.
I am thankful for the push to be better.
I am thankful for the changes I see in me.
I am thankful for the ahh ha moments that come onto the eyes of others.
I am thankful for the eye that can see a need.
I am thankful for a friend who knows me so well, and helps anyway.
I am thankful for lessons I thought I had learned being repeated because I didn't really get it the first time.
I am thankful for the example of others.
I am thankful there is not only one way.
I am thankful for clean bedrooms. (even though at the moment mine is not one of them).
I am thankful for sister-in-laws.
I am thankful for healthy families.
I am thankful for clutter. (I am starting to understand)
I am thankful for the strength of men.
I am thankful for the power in one and the many.
I am grateful for the savior, Jesus Christ and grace.
I am grateful for second chances.

Redirecting

I watched in amusement just now as I signed in to type this post and saw the computer inform me that it was redirecting. Especially since I had decided to share the thoughts I had today. Several months ago I received the message to get my life in order. I worked on it and have reached a new point and am feeling stuck. What to do? I asked more questions and I am being redirected. Now is the time to really take the leap and let go of the junk from the past. I do not really know where to begin...but I knew the information was correct when for Activity Days today I went looking for a pumpkin cookie recipe that I got from my professor at the Utah State Child Development lab...and I found it!
You may see right away that if I still have a recipe written on a piece of note book paper from twenty seven years ago...I have a lot of sifting to do. It is part of the experience of information hording, perhaps I should not sift...merely toss toss toss. I can do it...not sure I want too yet, after all the recipe works great and it is delicious...what other marvelous bits of information will I come across and want to keep for another 27 years.. I can do this. I can do this.

Growing

I spent 45 days doing a mentoring program. It is an awesome experience to connect with and learn from another human being on a daily basis.
I have felt the emptiness that has ensued as the days pass without that daily interaction.
I really am grateful that my life includes the knowledge learned as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My mentoring encouraged waking up and connecting to source (God), be in gratetude for the day. Then sending the blessings desired for my day ahead.
During meditation time, after I am ready for my day to think about those children in my life and ask, "what I can do to support them in feeling totally loved today.?" or "What could I do today to help them reach their goals?" "What does my spouse need from me today?" Then check in with myself and check for anyone whom I may have a forgivess issue with and take the time to let go of that so I am not held back. Next to look at my vision board and choose an area that I would like to spend some time on..and see and feel as if I already have it and to consider how having that would affect my spouse, my children..my home and make any adjustments to that goal to be in line with my mission statement.
I am grateful for this season of Thanksgiving.
Thanks for sharing this moment with me. Hugs Lisa

Family
All the querkieness
all the expectations
all the joy
all the work
all the love
all the help
all the support!
This list could be so long. I love that my family has been popping up everywhere lately. At our Bearly even Human cabin experience I loved having the Spackman family in my space. I loved having the Ker Family in my space. (I did not love being in cars on the steep mountainside) Such a pleasant warm experience to see the love and acceptance. The growing of relationships and the sharing of expertise and knowlege that comes from individuals doing what they do to serve each other and man kind. Thank you Rich for the Car support and Bert for the window support.
Thank you Parents and children for reminding me that my contribution is acceptable. And thanks for cooking breakfast Friday Rich...I know others helped too. I had a good time and hope everyone else did as well.
This last week my sweet family was here together...except for Adam and Dad. You know they were backpacking in New Mexico. That is a whole other story.
I felt the love of each of my children as we cleaned, pulled weeds, planted new things, watched movies, sewed, talked by the Ashton pond, cooked and baked, attended church and survived the major thunderstorm/hail/rain and after flood.
Then this weekend my brother and his family came for three days to camp in my yard, they all got blown out of their tents by the wind, and experience the joy of living here. I am so glad they came. It is always such a pleasure to get to know the neices and nephews a little better. And my brother is awesome. We went to the craters, they drove up pass creek to big creek where we used to camp with my grandparents when young, looked for arrow heads, had a hot dog roast at my second home, canoed abit, huddled around the fire and roasted marshmellows until the wind stopped, the moon came out and it was clearly dark. How does it get any better than this? What else is possible?

Just remembering some good times..........

Who said that?

"I haven't had a decent meal in 4 days!"
"Aww...Poor sad dad"
"And he answered N0"
"you're a bumblebee"
"Guess what...I was thinking about_________and look what I got today."
"There's a baby girl in your tummy."