Satisfied

When does one know they are dreaming? Could I have dreamed up this whole life? And if I did are you real? Or are you the one that dreamed me up? Ralph and Adam are spending a lot of time bonding these days. They talk and talk and look and look up information about backpacking...how heavy is that, what advice is out there for lightening the load, the best tents, mosquito proof pants, walking on water, boiling water, weather gear...you name it. They dream of walking the walk with only what you can carry on your back of spending weeks together on the trail. Ralph shared this from someone whose experience he was reading. This is really my take on his story, since it gave me pause to think on something I was already pondering. This man walked the continental divide trail, yo yo style, which means he went from Canada to Mexico and back Nearly six-thousand miles in one long trip. He was camping with a few people whom he met along the trail. A man came into camp and gave him a coupon for a free pizza at the next town. He was thrilled! Just imagine yourself eating dehydrated food for every meal and that pizza was especially something to look forward too. But then something happened. The man continued to pass out coupons to the others in the group. One person got a pizza and a two night stay at the expensive hotel with a massage. Another got a steak dinner and a stay in suite with a hot tub. Suddenly the man didn't have the same feelings about his free pizza. What changed? Wasn't he grateful for the gift he received? Food, real food prepared by someone else was waiting for him and he really was looking forward to it ...until he compared what he had to what he could have had or rather what maybe he should have? How come he didn't get a massage and a hotel room with dinner? He found himself feeling strangely resentful of his free pizza...or was it envious of his neighbors gift? I think I have discovered another "scale"to scrape off myself. You see, I feel perfectly happy with my life, what I have and where my life is taking me. Until I see what someone else is doing or having or being and I think "I could..." Oh! I get it... that is like wishing me away. Wishing away my learning, my talents, my experience and spending all my time and energy working hard to be someone else's experiences. Yeah, think about that one. When did I begin pondering this..last post I hinted at my feelings. Then I watched the Voyage of the Dawn Treader with family and friends and then Ralph shared this story. Me thinks I have some working out more kinks. In the book The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, the movie misses something about Eustace being a dragon...he had to painfully scrape off the golden scales. Sometimes being better and returning to my divine nature means acknowleging that I have some hidden scales and being brave enough to remove them...not because someone else might discover them...but because I have discovered what they really mean. Hugs to all Lisa